April
07
Tags
Jesus and sex workers
I was going to think of a snappier title but this post is about Jesus and sex workers, so there it is folks.
Not in a rescue industry way. Not in a redemption and at-a-distance ‘pray for them’ way.
I recently wrote a piece for the March 2019 issue of our parish magazine about ‘Evangelism as listening: an illustration from listening to sex workers’. Quite a few people asked to read it via twitter and my other social media accounts, and I was delighted to share and get feedback.
I don’t want my writing and work to stay inside the construction hut (John Robinson) I want to to collide with the world. To be a Christian isn’t to be passive and sweet, it’s an often confrontational calling out of social injustice.
Our sermon today was around John 12:1-8. This came at a very apt time for me and clarified a lot of the thoughts I have been having lately. In the passage Mary washes and anoints Jesus with extremely expensive perfume. This act of extravagance was criticised, but the extravagance was the point. The challenge is to be like Mary, to be risky, be extravagant in our service, be a bit off-the-wall and to show love in absolute abundance.
Not love when it suits you or when it gains us social favour. In fact in loving and serving with abundance we risk social judgements and even legal penalties.
I have heard so many Christians having an opinion on sex work. Most of these vocal critics are privileged and have not faced socio-economic disadvantage. They are mostly well-meaning, and they want to do what is ‘right’. The neat and comfortable answer is to support the ‘zero tolerance’ and ‘end demand’ campaigns.
The uncomfortable reality is that criminalization of any part of the sex industry harms sex workers. It takes away their choice of preferred client; it takes away their autonomy; it creates hostile working environments; it creates a mistrust of the police and NGO’s; it increases stigma. It ignores the feminization of poverty and it makes life more difficult for those selling sexual services.
You might not like the sex industry. You might believe that sex is reserved for inside a marriage. But guess what? Prohibition of anything, drugs/sex/alcohol doesn’t work. Our role is surely to walk beside people and give funding and support to harm reduction services.
Our churches are often (usually?) filled with the same people. And those on the margins of society feel unwelcome. There is thankfully a growing movement for LGBTQIA+ communities to be welcomed into churches. Yet sex workers are still excluded. They are seen as poor victims or as problematic people. But guess what? Sex workers are welcome too.
The church is an extremely influential and powerful tool. There are a growing number of christian allies to sex workers and I pray that this keeps growing. I would love to form a steering group to see where we can go with this. The idea would be to train churches in how to support sex workers and harm reduction services.
I came home from church and saw this quote on Facebook. The bible in the right hands, read in the correct way and guided by gifted teachers is the most powerful tool. It is about love. In the wrong hands it becomes a weapon to bash people with and a pick-and-mix of put downs.
To any sex workers reading this, whether you are a Christian, of another faith, or of no faith: you are worthy, loved and you matter in this world. I am sorry that people support measures to harm you.
If anyone wants to contact me regarding this, please do.
Gemma x
plasticdollheads 
Thank you for these kind words of support for the sex worker (SW) community. I am a SW client – a forty-something divorced man and sometime Sunday school teacher (adults, not kids). I don’t know how much firsthand knowledge you have of SW and the industry, but I can tell you I’ve met some extraordinary women (and men) in my journey – mothers, graduate students, businesswomen…and yes, I’ve met women who were destitute at one point in their lives. They are strong, brave, hard-working, kind, compassionate. They are frequently the antithesis of the common expectation of SW: abused, hurting, frightened, desperate to escape. Yes, these women are out there, I’m sure, but that has not been my experience.
I see SW for a variety of personal reasons. I do my best to be a gentleman. SW don’t ask much of the clients they see – be hygienic and be respectful. You can imagine I could not share this aspect of my life with church friends, and have since left – mostly for other reasons, however.
Open-mindedness from Christians about the sex industry is most welcome. As someone who considers himself “outside” the church now, my perspective has changed. Were I to meet a Christian and explain the way I live my life, I would not want “love” in return. Instead, I would hope that the person would simply ask more questions of me with an open mind and try to understand. Don’t assume that I (or sex workers) are “broken” and need “fixing.” It is the essence of Christianity to try to effect change (conversion), however quietly and unspoken in manner. Christians have a right to their beliefs, and the idea of sexuality expressed in stable, loving relationships is a beautiful thing.
It took me many years to accept the fact that I was a sexual being, and that it could be expressed as I do now without causing harm to myself, the sex worker, or to my relationship with god as I understand him. Indeed, I feel healthier about my sexuality now than I ever did as a committed Christian. The sex workers I have interacted with have frequently been compassionate, accepting, and nonjudgmental.
How can I say this without sounding crass…the world frequently senses the judgmentalism of Christianity (see the book “unchristian” by Dave Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons). Christianity sees the world as “needing” its message. In truth, the world has no “need” of Christianity or love given with the subtext of “we hope you eventually see things our way.” The world can simply continue turning. Maybe Christians sense this and feel somewhat threatened by it.
What we DO need is one another – on the human level. You don’t have to like me, approve of what I do, or abandon any sexual mores that are important to you. You can hold any opinion of me in private that you like. But as your fellow-human who is trying to get along in a harsh world, I’ve come to some different conclusions about how best to live with my sexuality – these conclusions just happen to be different than Christian theology might suppose.
In that light, just shake my hand, agree to disagree if you like, and respect my choices. I am happy to tell you more of my story, and I am happy to listen to yours. At the end, a very good thing to achieve would be to have a moment where we say, “Aha, now, I see – you see things THIS way.” I will do my best to listen, too.
Best wishes and thank you for your blog entry.
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